Monday, October 20, 2014

I Pray it Hurts September 22, 2014

September 22, 2014


This week was so great. It was filled with tender mercies. Naoto sent me a letter than helped me so much. He talked about how in these last 5 months I have, I have to rise to a new level and be the best missionary I have ever been. It really inspired me, and I feel like I did that this week. 

On Tuesday, all our plans fell through haha. We didn't have any members to help us out for the day, but I was determined to be the best I could be, and even more. We talked with a lot of people on the street, and normally I try to get a feel quickly to see if they are going to progress or not, and I still did that, but there was a difference in me this time. I tried to talk to them like it was my last opportunity ever to testify to them of the truth. When I looked at them in that way, I stopped judging with my mind, and started testifying with my heart. With every person we talked with, it wasn't just a "normal contact" this had to be an eternal moment for this person. Even if they didn't accept, I felt the spirit so strongly and I could honestly say I did everything I could for that person. The whole week I tried to do that. 

Cecilia was confirmed this week and we worked a lot with Raul, her husband. Raul is SO special. He has a hearing aid that doesn't work very well and he almost doesnt hear anything. So teaching him we have to yell and use a lot of drawings which is fun. He told us this week, "I told Jesus that if this is his way, help me to understand and to hear so I can follow it." And it has been incredible to see the answers to his humble prayer. He can hardly hear us, yet when we ask him to explain what we taught, he explains it perfectly and beautifully with even more than what we taught him. It blows me away. It is such a miracle. He reads everything we mark for him and explains what he read and how he is going to apply it in his life. Raul is SO special. I am so humbled that Heavenly Father trusted us with Raul and gave us the opportunity to learn from him and be inspired by him. He is getting baptized this Saturday! 

We taught Bety this week about the word of wisdom. She has been smoking a packet per day and has tried and tried before to quit, but siempre ends up falling back into it. We taught her about it this week, and she was doubtful. We told her that before she was just trying to quit alone, with her own strength, but now she can do it with the strength of Christ. She humbly asked us how she can receive His strength. "You only have to believe, ask him, and keep His commandments:" ..."I want to do it" she said. "Bety, will you exercise your faith in Jesus Christ, and live the word of wisdom starting right now?" we asked. She paused... laughed a little... and kept thinking..."ehhh. Yes. I'm going to do it." So she went and got her cigaretes and gave them to us. She hasn't smoked since. SO MUCH FAITH! She also is getting baptized this weekend. Bety is a miracle. 

Last night, President called at 10:30. He was talking with my companion and said he wanted to talk to me. I got out of bed, "Hello President!" He told me he had been thinking a lot about me recently and felt that I should be called to be his new secretary. So my bags are all packed and I leave now, in several minutes to the mission offices. It probably means I will finish my mission, the last 3 transfers there. So my time being a full time proselyting missionary in my own area is finished for now. 
I was praying just this week, praying for more love for these people and for the mission. I said "I want to love these people so much that it hurts to leave them." It's funny how fast He answers prayers... I cried and cried last night, knowing I have to leave these people in Garin. I can't describe with words how much I love them. All of them - the converts, members, investigators, and strangers. It is a love so deep I have never felt. I look into their eyes and I instantly love them so much and just want to help them, like I would want to help my own brother. It truly pains my soul to leave them, to not be there pouring out my heart for them everyday, to see the miracles in their lives. It is hard. But it is such a blessing to feel this love, it is something I can never forget. I have no reason to complain because I prayed it would hurt. I prayed I would feel like this. I know I gave all my heart for them and that fills me with peace. 
So now I am going to the offices and I am determined to give all my heart to this new assignment, a different assignment, but just as inspired at all my other assignments. 

I love being able to love and to serve like the Savior. I know HIS love is real. It is His love I feel. His   love gives me strength. He lives and He does it all. I love Him. 

I love this time


Elder Tenney

foto. Familia Guelet my favorite family. so great

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