Aprendiendo Confianza - Learning Confidence

 "Heath Tenney"
Sent: Monday, December 30, 2013 11:16:14 AM
Subject: Aprendiendo Confianza  - Learning Confidence

Hey Family! 

It was so so good to talk to you all and see everyone on skype this last week. I almost forgot how much I love you all. It definitely made my Christmas. 

Christmas was so good. Garrett told me last week how Christmas on his mission was one of the best, and I definitely agree. It was so good to literally only focus on the Savior and how much I love Him. Even though no one plays Christmas music here or decorates or anything, I always had a christmas hymn in my head and was thinking of the Savior, and that made it so good. Also the delicious meat we ate helped a little bit too. ;) 

This week I was studying "confidence" in my personal study. Confidence in Spanish, is "confianza". And "confianza" also means trust. As I looked through the scriptures, all of the verses that say "confianza" were talking about trusting in the Lord. At first I glanced over them thinking that is not what I was looking for, but I later realized that it was exactly what I was looking for. To truly have confidence doesn't come from our talents or experience. It doesn't come from how much Spanish we know, nor from how much success we have had. Personal confidence comes from trusting in the Lord, because we have every reason to trust in Him. And when we do, we don't have to worry about our weaknesses or what others say, because we can know that He will not ever fail us. Confidence is to trust in Him, not ourselves, and not what others say. 

That being said, there is a difference between to know it in your head and to have it inscribed in your heart from living it. So I am still working on the living it part. But this week I made progress. 

This week was kind of crazy with all the parties and everything. Here, sadly, they dont really say "merry Christmas!" or things like that, they say "Feliz fiesta" because really it is a time with huge parties. So it was hard to find our investigators this week, the Lord guided us to a lot of new people to teach which was great. I really wanted to trust in the Lord more and be guided by Him, and it was amazing to see His hand. One day we had like 40 minutes left before we had to go home, all our appointments fell through, so we decided to stop by a less active member, as we walked I was praying for guidance, and when we got to the street to turn, I felt like we should just keep going. So we did. We walked for like 5 blocks, and there was nobody outside, and I was thinking, "okay...why did I feel like we should keep walking?" haha. But we kept going, and after about 3 more blocks, BOOM! A person! I told my companion,"he's the one!", basically because I was excited to finally see a person. We went and talked with this man named Frederico, and we began to teach him in the street. We only had a few minutes, but he said we could come back and he wants to come to church! It was a Christmas miracle.

Lastly, we had a lesson yesterday with Omar and Rocio, they really want to change their lives, they are just so busy that they don't have time to read or go to church. Anyways, we dropped by after church because they didn't come. I was filled with sorrow for them because there are so many blessings just waiting for them. But anyways, as we talked, I asked a question about something, but and someone said, "Wow, he doesn't understand anything that we are saying!" In that moment, I just instantly became...upset. I was just so tired of hearing things like that when I am trying so hard. I almost got up and left, not because I was upset with them, but I was just upset in general, and somehow the natural man in me thought it would help to leave. I felt this strong desire to just leave, I was so tired and stressed, but the deep love I have for them kept me in my chair. I knew that if we left, we would be depriving them of a chance to feel the Savior's love, and to grow. And that would be the most selfish thing I could do. So I stopped being selfish and we taught them, we read Alma 5 together. I just had to trust that the Lord would teach them somehow. Even though I wasn't feeling the best, I trusted in the Lord and I stayed, and He was able to touch their hearts. 

Sometimes during the day those types of natural man thoughts come, trying to make me think my confidence comes from me, but the spirit never stays when I begin to think that. Because I know that doesn't come from me. As disciples of Christ, we don't focus on ourselves, because Christ never did, we just have to focus on Him, and that is where true confidence comes, from trusting in Him and His grace. 

I know His grace is sufficient. It is real and powerful. 

I am so grateful to be here. It isn't easy and there is so much I need to learn, but there is so much joy in serving the Lord if we just ask to be able to feel it. 

I love you all so much! Have a wonderful week! 

Love,

Elder Heath Tenney